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Monday, August 29, 2011

The Life of a SAHM...

Why do weekends seem to go by so quickly? It seems like it's the only time I get to spend time with my husband and the kids. In the afternoons, during the week, we're always so busy. We might get a few hours in but that's about it.
This week I'll mostly be MIA. I have a busy week ahead & hope it goes smoothly. Peyton is sick AGAIN. He has yet another ear infection as well as sinuses. I had to take him to Urgent Care on Friday because his pedi couldn't see him. We were in and out fairly quickly but he wasn't exactly happy. The antibiotics kicked in pretty quickly & we got his fever to break but last night his ear started draining. I guess that's a good thing, it means his tubes are working correctly & at least getting the fluid off of his eardrums. He's still in a lot of pain though.

Other than dealing with a sick kiddo it's a typical Monday around here. Boring but busy is how I describe it. A lot of people wonder how can a stay at home mom be so busy but pretty much never leave her house. Well, we don't have the luxury of having a nanny or babysitter so I definitely don't sit on my butt all day long.

We wear many hats throughout our day. Inevitably someone is going to get in an argument or fight over a toy so we have to be a referree. Someone is sure to get hurt after the above argument so we have to be a nurse. There will be hurt feelings so we have to put our counselor hat on. Eventually they'll need to eat so we become a chef & a waitress. Of course we have to at least attempt to keep the house clean so in order to do that we also have to pick up after the little munchkins, we become maids.

We really never stop. The only time I get to sit down is when the kids are taking their afternoon nap and that's only after I get all of the stuff done that needs to be done. That's often the time that I attempt to shovel food into my mouth to try to stay nourished enough to deal with the afternoon, which means I have to juggle the kids, playtime, making dinner, feeding them dinner, bathtime, and bedtime too. It isn't an easy job but it's my job & I love it.

When Avery was 9 weeks old, I went back to work full time. I hated leaving her every morning and missing out on so much during the day but there was nothing I could do about it. There was absolutely no way we could pull it off for me to stay home & I was ok with that, I had to be. Well, fast forward to September of 2009, we were surprised to learn that I was pregnant again with our second child. I immediately started having problems but nobody could tell us what was going on. We relied on prayer to get us through my first trimester. I prayed constantly that if it was God's will, my child would live & if not to please show me how ot cope & deal with the loss.

When I was about 10 weeks pregnant I went in for what was probably my fourth or fifth ultrasound, I think at that point we were having an ultrasound every week trying to figure out what was going on, the ultrasound said "well there's the problem". The baby was perfectly healthy but a piece of my placenta had separated from the amniotic sac and was causing a leak which was causing all of the problems. I'll never forget, we were taken to an exam room and told to wait for my OB. It seemed like it took forever for Dr. R to come in but in reality it was like 5 or 10 minutes. He told us at that point it was a waiting game, he could not give us a definite answer as to whether or not our baby was going to live or die. Either the tear would repair itself & the baby would be fine or it would completely rupture & we'd lose the baby. It was gutwrenching, I was terrified. He put me on modified bedrest & pelvic rest for a few weeks and said we'd recheck everything at 15 weeks. At this point, Brent & I made the decision that our baby's life was more important than a second income.

Fifteen weeks comes and my ultrasound was scheduled for 3 days after Avery's first birthday. On her birthday, we announced our pregnancy & everyone was thrilled but we were still very cautious. On Tuesday we went in for my ultrasound while my cousin watched Avery for us, she had had her 12 month checkup & shots earlier that day so she wasn't very happy but a sucker did the trick! I can't even describe the relief I felt when the ultrasound tech looked at me and told me that the tear in the amniotic sac had repaired itself like we were hoping for. This meant our baby would live!

Things went as planned for about 10 or 11 weeks. We had our gender ultrasound at 18 weeks and the little turkey wouldn't show us the goods so we had to wait another 4 weeks to try again. At our next appointment we were able to find out that we were expecting a very stubborn little boy. We were thrilled, Brent of course was getting his little fishing/golfing/hunting/football playing little buddy. A couple of weeks pass and I noticed that I started having Braxton Hicks contractions just as I did with Avery & around the same time. I didn't think anything of it because they didn't hurt. Over the next week I noticed that everytimeBH contractions, they were actual labor pains but they weren't regular or consistent. They would hit me throughout the day, at different times and were very sporadic. I might have 3 one hour and none the next then 2 hours later have 10. Nothing that was consistent enough to call my OB or go to the hospital. At 25 weeks I had another checkup. I mentioned them to my OB and he blew them off as BH's. After begging him to do an internal and him telling me they were completely normal & didn't warrant a check & me continuing to argue with him that I knew my body and something was right I left.

I finally decided I wanted a second opinion. I called a dear friend of mine whose mother is a midwife & she told me to call her mom, she'd be happy to talk to me & help me out. I called her office and got an appointment at 26 weeks to see her. I told her what was going on and she immediately checked and informed me that I was absolutely correct, the contractions I was having were indeed changing my cervix. I was put on bedrest and a goal was set that we both felt comfortable with. I had to make it to May 23rd in order to deliver where I wanted to deliver and hopefully the baby would be healthy enough to stay out of the NICU. I was put on a 2 week schedule, meaning I would come in for a checkup every 2 weeks instead of every 4. After the initial follow-up 2 weeks later and strict bedrest my contractions were still effective so I was moved to a 1 week schedule.

We took things day by day, week by week. I ended up in the hospital at 34 weeks getting Turbutaline (sp?) shots to stop the contractions. I was released after a few hours of monitoring & they were able to get contractions stopped.

My goal came & went, I had made it to 36 weeks & we were almost in the clear. When I hit the 38 week mark I was allowed off of bedrest & I've never been so thankful to get out of bed in my life! At 38 weeks 5 days we decided to induce because I was 4 cm's and he appeared to be a large baby.

I went in at 5am and pitocin was started at 7am, after 2 hours of monitoring. My midwife broke my water at 8, I got my epidural at 8:15, lucky me never felt a contraction until my epi started wearing off in certain spots. I was able to get a booster, thankfully, so I was able to relax a bit. At 2:09 pm Brent & I welcomed our second child, Peyton Robert into the world weighing 7lbs 4oz.

He was truly our angel baby, we were in limbo for so long about whether we would ever actually meet him or not. Every time I feel like my job, as a stay at home mom, is stressful or gets to much I go back & read his birth story & it brings back all of the emotions I was feeling that day. It also reminds me how absolutely blessed I am to be able to stay at home & be a full time mom.

My life is hectic, day in and day out. My day starts between 6 & 6:30 every single day and usually doesn't end until 10 or 11 at night, sometimes later. Of course, there's always the waking up in the middle of the night to comfort a child who had a bad dream or them simply not being able to sleep. A mother's job is never done, we are never off, and we never truly get a vacation (at least I don't think so). No matter where you are, if you have a child at home (under the age of 18) you're worried and wondering what in the world they're getting into when you're not there.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go play with my princess a little bit while her brother finishes out his morning nap. Wonder what she's going to want to play today...hmmm

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Normally I Wouldn't Touch This

But for some reason it's been on my mind a ton lately. Not just for "some" reason, there's a very specific reason actually. It's not something I like talking about but I'm going to.
Here goes, why are some people so "religion" or denomination oriented? Personally, in my humble little opinion Christianity is Christianity, this is no right or wrong denomination. Either you believe in God or you don't. All Christians believe in the same God, right? So why does what denomination you are matter so much to some people?

I was a "cradle" Catholic, if you aren't familiar with that term it basically means you were born into the Catholic faith & that's how you were raised, while my husband was raised in a Baptist church. My dad's family was also Baptist so I was exposed to both growing up. For a while after we were married, we went to the Catholic church, we planned on raising our children in the Catholic church, even baptized them in the church. However, after much thoughtful prayrer both together & individually, Brent & I decided that we were not in the right place for our little family. The Catholic church is a good church, it just wasn't the right fit for our little family.

Naturally, some of my family members were not thrilled with our decision to find a different church. There were a lot of hurtful things that were sait that we just had to learn to just ignor & let roll off our backs. Eventually, after many conversations with each other as well as god we knew we were doing the right thing.

We began attending a church in Picayune, which is about 20-30 minutes from our house. The first week or two we kept the kids with us in the sanctuary during services but quickly realized that kids will be kids. They were well behaved but we weren't able to completely concentrate on the message. We finally decided to let them go to the nursery. Avery would be in an age appropriate class here they would have a bible lesson, eat snacks, & then have playtime. Since I stay home with them they don't interact with other kids a lot so I thought it would be good for them. Peyton would also be in a class that was suitable for his age but since he was so young, he would just get to play & interact with other kids.

The first time we dropped them off, it was hard but we did okay. I was called to the nursery once during service for Peyton but we were able to manage to get him calmed down & back to playing. When we picked them up Avery was thrilled but Peyton was not a happy camper. He's such a mama's boy & has never really been away from me other than staying with family. I guess I should say I've never left him with strangers before, it's always been familiar faces. I prayed that we had made the right decision for our children's sake.

The following week it was the same thing, Avery was a little clingy but went peacefully. Peyton cried but adjusted quickly. We were able to make it through service without being summoned to the nursery. When we picked them up Avery had drawn a picture that she was excited to show off. Peyton didn't fuss until they opened the door & he realized that I should be there. We got in our car to leave & after Avery finished telling us how they ate goldfish & drank water & slid down the slide in her class that morning, the backseat got very quiet. I thought they had fallen asleep until about 5 minutes later when we all of a sudden hear a sweet little voice singing "Jesus Loves Me". Brent & I both looked at each other & smiled. Of course she had heard the song before, I sing it to her & Peyton all the time, but she had never even attempted to sing it before. We waited for her to finish & Brent asked where she learned that & she responded "at my church Daddy'. I was so proud & at that moment I knew we made the right choice.

Even though we were in the right place with our family of four, that didn't stop the hurtful comments. So, I started praying about it constantly, of course...what else am I going to do other than ignore it obviously. My dad & his girlfriend came into town for Peyton's birthday at the beginning of June & this is when I got my answer. Very unexpectedly, but it was pretty much laid in my lap. One night, we brought the kids to their hotel to swim & while we were walking through the lobby I saw a pamphlet on the table that caught my attention. It was titled Christianity Without Denominations so I picked it up. It's a very interesting little pamphlet that came from a group called The Sword and Staff from North Carolina. I am going to type out some of it because it's a very interesting & good explanation about denominations.

"To what denomination did Peter, James, John, the 300 on Pentecost, Corinthians, and the Philippian jailer belong? The answer, they belonged to none. They were simply members of the body of Christ, which is the Lord's church, yet they were not members of any denomination as we know them today."

"Why call ourselves by denominational names? We believe in Christ. He is our creed, and we do what he says. Consequently the New Testament is our only rule of faith and doctine (no man-made creeds)."

"Most people will say that they actually believe that this is the way it should be, but getting them to implement it is another thing. Really, it is not a matter of opinion or optional. Christ purchased the church with his own blood. The church belongs to him."

Ephesians 4:4-6 "There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to one hope when you were called - one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." NIV

So, why are denominations so important in today's society? I'm so over it...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Woot Woot for a fellow HM

Back when I was pregnant with Avery not only did I find the Babycenter community but I also found another online forum that I joined. This group of awesome ladies are all mothers of babies born in December 2008, or at least that's when all of our due dates were because we all know babies have minds of their own. Some were born extremely early & some were born late. We have been together as an online support group since March/April of 2008 and have since split off of the original website where we met & formed our own site. We have experienced so much together, highs & lows, and even though I have only met two of these ladies in person I consider every one of them a very dear friend. We have experienced pregnancy (some of us multiple pregnancies), birth, miscarriage, infant loss, premature birth, the death of a spouse, and so so so much more together as a group. No matter what was going on we all joined together and did whatever we had to do to help each other get through whatever was going on in our lives. Some of these ladies I talk to every single day & couldn't imagine them not being a part of my life.

One of these gorgeous ladies even lives about an hour away from my dad & I will be meeting her very soon for the first time in person! She is an amazing person & has helped me through more than she probably knows. Whether it be parenting advice, cloth diapering advice, or just a kind word Catherine always seems to know what to say. Catherine & I were pregnant at the same time throughout both of our pregnancies. Her oldest son is a few days younger than Avery & her youngest a few weeks younger than Peyton. She is an absolutely amazing mother who is also an awesome blogger. You can check out her blog here!

Catherine is a CBAC mom, which essentially means she had two cesarean sections. She was asked to write a guest post on a CBAC support website called ICAN and her blog post was featured today. She has an absolutely beautiful story about the birth of her children and I encourage all of you to read it. Check it out here.

I am so proud of her & so happy to share this with you!

Is it Friday yet?

Seriously, only Tuesday still? Our day started at 2 freaking 30 this morning...yep, that's right 2:30 AM...with the damn smoke detector going off for no reason whatsoever. I have no clue how but both kids slept through it, never budged. Brent's chest started hurting it scared him so bad and I couldn't go to sleep for almost 2 hours afterwards. We checked the entire house, including the attic & there was nothing going on. This is either the second or third time it has gone off in the middle of the night like this.

Of course since the kids slept through it they were both up between 6 & 6:45 so there was little rest for mommy & daddy last night. We had to go "bote" as Avery said this morning and of course once they were up we were up too. Avery was all into voting this morning, our conversation went something like this...

Avery: Mommy, why do we have to go bote?
Me: Because Avery it's kind of like our job.
Avery: But why Mommy?
Me: Because it just is.
Avery: Oh...but why?

I just gave up, she's 2 and you can't expect a 2 year old to understand voting but the why's were getting to be a bit much at 7 o'clock in the morning. I just have to keep reminding myself that she'll eventually grow out of it & then I'll miss it. Right now, I'm just grateful I haven't pulled any hair out today & I'm still breathing because after their daddy left for work the horns came out & I don't know who these kids are in this house because they're not acting like my babies.

Avery is a little terror towards her brother, she has been on a kicking, hitting, and screaming spree for the past few hours. Ok, honestly it started last night & we were able to ignore it for the most part but today it's bad, really bad. She just made her brother go in her bedroom then came running out, shutting & locking the door behind her. Luckily she didn't pull the door all the way so I was able to free him from her captivity but next time he might not be so lucky.

Ok, enough of my rambling about my munchkins. A few years ago, when I was pregnant with Avery,I joined Babycenter's online community. It was really helpful with keeping up with my pregnancy & what was going on but I ran across a really hysterical group of ladies who introduced me to the LOLcats & I'm not even a cat person but I think it's hysterical. There's pics like...this


and this


and a little bit of thisssss

Unnamed Kitty

and even a little bit of religion...


I know you might not find it humorous but I do. It kept me entertained for like 6 months when I was pregnant & bored at work & it still does from time to time. Today was one of those days...one that I was bored, not pregnant, just bored. Of course, in between refereeing my kids and pulling food out of Peyton's throat that he seems to think he can just inhale instead of chew & swallow there's not much time to be bored.

I believe it's nap time now so this mama's going to rest & catch up on my dvr while the kiddos sleep. Peace & quiet.......hmmm


Monday, August 22, 2011

Manic Monday

Yes, it does indeed feel like a manic Monday. The first day of the week & it seems like forever until Friday. I'm not one to wish my life away but I just love spending time with my hubby and the kids, the only time we get to do that is on the weekends.

Until then I'll be taking on the many hats of mommyhood...and at 9am on Monday morning I'm already wearing my chef, nurse, and referee hats. Oh joy! We had a pleasant breakfast & the munchkins were playing very nicely in the living room when Avery started pushing her brother. After reapetedly being told to stop she picked up her pusher popper thingy (you know the thing with a handle with balls in the bottom & when you push it it pops them up...you know what I'm talking about) anyway, she picked it up and swung it at him and hit him in the side of the head & knocked him over then smacked him in the face with it. Needless to say, she's in timeout & thankfully it was time for his first nap so he's in bed. Poor thing, I'm sure he'll have a knot on his head but no worries, he'll get his revenge. He's the kid that waits until you're sure he's forgotten what so&so did to him but then he gets his revenge when you least expect it. It's actually pretty amusing.

It started when he was about 6 months old or so, Avery would come by & push him or do something mean and he'd fuss then about 5 minutes later she'd walk by & Peyton would reach out and grab her by the ankles and tackle her. At first I didn't know what to think but now I just sit back & giggle because she totally deserved it.

We have a busy week but it's sad that I don't even want to leave the house. I have lots to do but it's all at home except for one doctor's appointment on Thursday. That means I actually have to put effort in getting dressed & going somewhere...bummer.

On another note since I'm going to be home all day everyday that means I actually have time to cook which is something I love to do. I haven't had much time to cook lately & there's nothing better than a home cooked meal, we all know that. However, that means I also have to go grocery shopping which also means I have to leave the house which in turn means I can't wear my pajamas all day. *Dangit*

I'm bored & this post sucks because I have nothing clever to say this day. Therefore, I'm just going to talk about another blogger because she's hysterical. You should go to The Bloggess and read this then this followed by this. This woman is hilarious & her blog is a must-read.

Therefore since I have absolutely 100% nothing interesting to say this morning, unless you want to hear me go on & on about my children beating each other up today which I highly doubt, I am DEMANDING that you read the posts I linked in my last paragraph...thank you...come again!

Friday, August 19, 2011

It's the little things...and small town high school football on a Friday night

That matters most! The moments when your 2 year old comes to you simply to say "I love you Mommy", the little 4 teeth smile from your 1 year, and the sideways glance from your husband or wife that melts your heart. A lot of times we take those things for granted & don't realize how much those itty bitty, teeny tiny little moments do for you.

I've been struggling with a ton of anxiety lately, ok maybe not a ton but I'm sure my chest begs to differ! I find myself lacking patience and constantly feeling on edge which is a completely miserable feeling. Instead of enjoying the funny things that the kids are doing I worry about what negative or bad thing could happen to them. I know I know, this is typical mommyhood worries but imagine typical worry times.....about 1000 and that might be what it feels like.

Tonight, for the first time in a very long time I was able to relax and enjoy my kids, at least one of them. Brent & I took Avery to a high school football game tonight while Nanny Fish (Peyton's godmother...her name isn't really Fish, that's just what Avery calls her) kept Peyton for us. It's the first time in a while that we took Avery somewhere with just Mommy & Daddy. She absolutely loved it.

I still had some worries, but not anxiety, about her falling and busting her head. We were close to the top of concrete bleachers & if my baby fell she would've been all the way to the bottom before I could blink. Any mother would be nervous in that situation with a rambunctious 2 year old. We survived though & without so much as a scratch, she did bump her knee but we're all good.......no blood!!!

It felt so good to be able to enjoy myself & more than anything the moment that she handed me her "mulk" cup to put in her bag & she looked up at me and said "I love you mommy". Gahhhhhhh, that made my wee bit of worrying completely, 100% worth it.

Now, if only I can have days and nights like this 24/7 365 it would be awesome. We all know that's not realistic but a girl can dream.

I know it sounds cliche but I don't care. I've said the same thing to so many people in the past but this is the first time in my life that I've ever just stopped, looked around, and realized how precious the little things really are.

So do yourself a favor and take a step back & take it all in for a minute...give your kids and husband an extra kiss, another hug, and one more "I love you" before bed tonight and remember how blessed you really are.

Gosh I'm so mooshy tonight but I like it ;)


Cold Pizza...

I do think so! I absolutely love pizza, pretty much any pizza but I especially love cold pizza. Cold pizza for breakfast! Brent thinks I'm completely weird but I know there are other people out there who eat cold pizza & like it.

Ok, this isn't really about cold pizza, I'm just bored. The kids are playing, thankfully not beating the crap out of each other for once, and I've got nothing to do. Sure, I could clean the house or do dishes but that's for neat people & lets face it, I'm by no means neat. I am however doing a load of laundry. Cloth diapers to be exact! I usually use disposables & occasionally cloth but thanks to stupid freaking eczema poor Peyton can't wear sposies right now. He's had eczema since he was born & it's probably the worst now that it's ever been.

It looks like his eczema has spread everywhere, literally. I started putting cloth on him yesterday to wick the moisture away from his bum & it helped some but I still needed to do something else while I kept him in CD's.

I also started putting this amazing lotion on him that I get from the company I work with. I also have the body wash & the bath oil so I put the oil in his bath, bathed him with the body wash, & loaded him up with the lotion. He looks better today but have I mentioned how much I absolutely HATE Eczema? Not only is my poor baby itching all over but damnit I'm having to do an extra load of laudnry & I loathe doing laundry. I put it off as long as possible then whine & complain about having to fold or hang & put it away. Grrrr...

Hopefully it'll get better over the weekend.

Speaking of the weekend, I want it to last as long as possible. It's the only time I really get to spend time with the hubs. He's been so busy lately that I barely get to see him for an hour or two in the afternoon & I hate it. The kids want to play with their daddy but he hardly ever gets home before dark. This blows!

Now that these two are hungry & laundry is done I have to figure out what's for lunch. It's Friday, I don't want to cook lunch either BLECH!

I am.....me?

I'm Ashley, a 24 year old mom & wife. My husband, Brent & I have 2 children. Our oldest is a girl, she'll be 3 in December her name is Avery & our youngest is Peyton, he turned 1 back in June. Brent & I have been married for 4 years & together for almost 9, we were high school sweethearts.

I love to write, sometimes I'm at a loss for words & lead a pretty boring life, unless you find temper tantrums, poop, and puke amusing. However, I'm pretty happy with my life.

I swear if these kids don't start being nice to each other I'm going to pull my damn hair out. Ok, what was I saying?

Oh yes, I am a WAHM & sometimes get very little accomplished during the day. My house is messy, I'm usually in pajamas, my kids run around in diapers & t-shirts from time to time, but we have food on the table everyday & life is good!


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